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Valentine's day? No. Lovers month. I thought I'd share my view on creating more love regularly, regardless of wildly celebrated archaic traditions that only last 24 hours. The dark history of valentine's day-It dates back to the Romans who celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. This happened between the 13th and 15th of February and sadly included sacrificing animals and then, in a speed-dating like fashion, the men would pull the names of women from a jar and they'd be paired together. They believed that whipping the females with the hides of the animals they had sacrificed would make them fertile. It's wild to think that this day of romance has such a dark past! Aside from that, the holiday has become super commercialised and I feel like we get so caught up in buying items, that we forget to create moments. Don't get me wrong, If your love language is gifts then this is probably going to feel like a big deal to you. But realistically would you prefer something specially thought out or a fluffy teddy with " I love you" in a red heart? This is where learning yours and your partner's love language is key.These beautiful moments I was talking about should be part of our everyday life, and instead of "going all out '' one day a year, I use this day to remind myself of the memories I want to make. So I use this day to plan future moments. This is why I like to call in "lovers month" In this post I'm going to go over the love languages, some of my favourite tips I've learnt over the years from a couples retreat/mentors and a more realistic way to keep romance/love consistent in our relationships. |
STORY TIME About five years ago my husband and I decided to do a couples retreat. He'd been working away on a 4:1 roster and coming home permanently we felt there needed to be a little boost in our relationship. During this retreat, the one big takeaway for us was learning about our love languages and consistency in the relationship. Meaning continuing to date each other basically. There is a free online quiz you and your partner can take to find out what each of your love languages are but the book is also a beautiful read. https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzesWhat the heck is a love language though? Well, the way I interpreted it was that individually we feel love in a certain way, which generally means we will give that same love to our partner, friends, family etc. BUT not everyone is the same and according to years of study and research there are five main love languages.
For me my top love language is words of affirmation. This means that when someone tells me how proud they are of me, that i'm beautiful or It could even be if there is a deep conversation/communication in any form is what makes my love spark twinkle. Because my top love language is words of affirmation I tend to give that to others. I'd be showering my husband with beautiful words like " I love your butt, it's so squishy" & "I'm so proud of you and all your hard work" BUT to him this doesn't have the same value. His top love language is acts of service. So for him he would love it if I made him a coffee in the morning or picked up something from the shops. I think it's so important to understand and acknowledge what the people close to you need in forms of love because we could be pouring all of our love language into them but it might not land as fruitful as what it would be if we were to receive it. Consistency:I get it, I truly do. Life gets busy and days turn into months very quickly. Then add kids, work, friendships and family on top of the fast paced world we live in and we just don't make romance a priority. Connecting romantically is a natural desire built within us. No matter your love language, we all want to feel loved and connected. Do you want to know the best way I've found to keep consistency? SCHEDULING IT IN. Sure, spontananity is exciting and fiery but we don't always remember or simply have the time. So here are some little tips we like to do to make sure that dating continues. Use valentines day as a reminder that romance is important- It's great because you'll know exactly when to start organising your date nights. It's like a huge commercialised slap in the face.
Now, I understand booking this far in advance can feel daunting but you are only committing to one date night a month and that's only a few hours of your time. If we calculated how much screen time most of us have in a year I would guarantee that would add up to more hours than date nights. These are the special moments that will keep your love cup full and the relationship thriving so I feel like this is the perfect time to be inspired. Your date nights don't have to be bougie every month either, but I do recommend planning the odd one here and there that allows you to get dressed up, put something saucy on. I have written a list of ideas below of some fun/cute date nights and I encourage you to look at websites like the urban list & perth is ok (whatever state you're in).
This blog is purely based off my own experiences and personal views. I encourage you to put your own spin on romance and use the month of february to be the reminder for creating some fun, love filled memories throughout the rest of the year. These beautiful photos were taken by Snaps by Novi - Check her out here |
A Guide to Sustainable Love Every Month of the Year
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